My New money-Making Plan

How much would you pay for a cold cup of lemonade on a smoldering, hot summer's day?

Because I am at the point right now where I may start going to busy, congested street corners and offer favors to people in exhange for money. No, not those kind of favors. But, I can be the guy people turn to if they need a task or an errand performed. You call a gardner if you need your yard fixed, you call a maid if you need your house cleaned---people should call me if they need anything else done.

Exam week is happening right now and, while I'm not currently enrolled in school, I can tell based on the statuses posted by people on my facebook page that it is causing students a great deal of stress and anxiety. Those all-nighters and 15000 word essays aren't good for a college student's sanity. And Red Bull is awfully expensive. So is Day-Quil and coffee. Consider this, college students of America, instead of feeling like your life sucks because you have to study and write papers all the time, and instead of spending all of that money on over-priced energy drinks and other caffeine-heavy beverages, wouldn't it be nice to not have such a work overload? Wouldn't it be nice to spend money on something that would help you more than sugary drinks and pills?

I'm not doing anything right now. I don't have a job. I don't go to school again until next semester. This is where my 'offering-people-favors-for-money' part comes in. Why not pay someone a small hourly fee to do all of this college stuff for you? Of course, I can't take your tests for you, you're on a one-man boat paddling up a waterfall on that one. However, I can write your papers for you and write them exquisitely. You will be guaranteed to make no worse than a B.

I've written papers for people in the past. Don't believe me? Just ask Marty Van Der Schmidt from Lyman.

Marty: Dustin really did a good job writing my paper on the solar system.

Marty made the highest grade in his fifth grade class. The teacher even said that he wrote on a college level. Wow! If that's not customer satisfaction, I don't know what it is.

Need a paper written, call me and we will discuss rates.

My services do not just extend to schoolwork either. Anything you need help with that you are too lazy to do yourself, I can help out with. Yardwork. Walking the dog. Taking care of your grandma. Killing an ex-boyfriend. If you need it done, I will do it!

When you call, be sure to ask about my work-out program too. A lot of people really want to work out but are simply too lazy to do it or lack the motivation. I can get you motivated. For a small fee, I will come to your house and chase you around the neighborhood with a lustful look on my face. You work out. I get paid. I also get a work out. It's a win-win-win all the way around.

What are you waiting for? Call today!